Losing Beats Winning, Again - On Brink Of Title

Sports psychologist Tess Kilwein asked this week how we can invest more in the overall well-being of athletes after yet another shocking passing, this from Rice University soccer player Claire Tracy. The answer is losing beats winning. That is how. Teach coaches, parents, and players that playing the game is the victory. Tie success to showing up – on the field or as a cheerleader. This really isn’t just about athletes. We all know that. It’s because we are taught to think athletes are happier. That is, if they are playing for the right reasons and not solely a D1 scholarship that parents, coaches, and community pressure us to think equals happiness. Like Galinda the Good Witch says, “there’s a kinda a sorta cost” and sometimes things get lost - because for all the accolades, goals, kicks and traps, the kid feels trapped…

By expectation.  By being someone else.

Our study tracked family experience with sports over 20 years and found that, of the 30% reporting a poor outcome from travel, club or elite teams, 41% developed some type of addiction, 29% an eating disorder, 27% a drug or alcohol addiction, 19% a sports betting addiction, 11% suicidality and 2% died by suicide, all stemming from the pressures of these competitive sports teams and the 89% of those parents who say they sought the so-called fame and status and financial benefits of a Division 1 scholarship.

But ironically, 91% of their kids say they really just wanted to play. The disconnect starts somewhere around the 5th and 6th grades. The families studied spent $13,182 on average and $31 million in total—but the 30% reporting a poor health outcome say they spent over $75,000 and as much as $125k in some cases to account for “unintended health care costs and treatment.” Compare this to the mere $389,000 in total, sometimes less than $50 a year, spent by 2,005 families on kids in “rec” type programs, where the portion with adverse health outcomes was less than 3% in total in The Behavioral Health Hour study...It’s wild - we encourage our kids as early as 3 years old to run and play and be part of teams for the exercise and socialization and skills, only to sometimes push too hard during their middle school years, force a single sport, leading many to leave the pressures of sports entirely--sometimes cut, often disenchanted—and into a period of isolation, addiction and struggle to fill the void in other ways.

And in another bit of irony, many of these kids survive just by reverting to the very behavior they started as preschoolers – joining clubs in their town designed to support people with mental health, running around a circle twice a week after work, with people they’ve never met, seeking socialization and the skills to manage life. Not a competition, but community, a few laughs, and a good workout.

For suicide care resources like Vita Health, check out this article we did on a company that helps meet people where they are at.