Olympics Circa 2058

It won’t be long before pickleball and 4 v 4 ping pong will be Olympic sports. In 2028 in Los Angeles, the games of the XXXIV Olympiad add squash, cricket, 3 on 3 hoops, flag football, and 6v6 Lacrosse. I usually don’t add squash to anything except on Thanksgiving, but I think this is probably a good addition. The trend toward smaller games and more interesting variations of traditional competition is awesome and I suspect it’ll just continue. By 2058, I would assume we’ll have 1 v 1 hoops, 2 v 2 fencing, and 3 v 3 soccer. I mean, imagine the goals! I’d even like to see more creativity like those canoe sprinters competing in the open ocean with actual sharks, or waterski jumping ala Fonzi in Happy Days over a pool of great whites. 7 v 7 rugby is cool but I wonder if 2 vs 2 boxing might be more enjoyable or 4 v 4 table tennis where there are two baseliners and then two others near the net able to volley the shot. Why the course from the TV show Wipeout hasn’t made it yet into Olympic competition is perplexing to me - it may be the sheer liability. Golf is a sport but mini golf ought to be, perhaps pitting 50 something parents vs. 10 year olds. Mini golf is the great equalizer, and so is bowling, but it only made it as a test event in the ‘88 olympics in Seoul. There could be some exhilarating team events - candlepin of course.

There’s not really an opportunity for older folks to participate in the Olympics apart from watching, but that could be very entertaining and also still keep the spirt of the games alive. Like a relay race amongst seniors trying to turn on the TV.

I personally may try to enter the ‘28 games if there’s still an opening. Maybe 3 on 3 hoops, if I can pick my team (LeBron and Curry).

Sports have a funny way of raising our anxiety and depression particularly when we’re younger and dumb and live and die by our team, but the Olympics don’t really have that. Sure a lot of folks root for their country and feel the stress of the pole vaulter needing to clear the top, but most of us just enjoy the competition stress free and if our country loses, it’s not like when the Celtics blow a 3-1 series lead. Many of us may be from America but our roots, our ancestors are from places far and wide, so the games and these awesome athletes connect us, even if the games themselves may look and feel a bit different than what we’re used to.

Here’s the full list of olympic and paralympic games for 2028.